I feel like I have been riding a calm wave in a tumultuous sea that has been roaring around me...
I am ready for school.
I am ready for David to move, because I think visiting him will be like my new vacation spot.
I feel good, loved, and calm-overall.
But I also feel very inadequate because I don't seem to have the right words right now to provide great insight of make people feel better.
I feel a lot of pressure to be the perfect friend who is always there, makes everything better, and solves everyone's problems.
I have felt like until this morning I have been detached enough to not feel for inadequate, but like I sort of reached a breaking point this morning.
And it kind of makes me feel like crap, because having your own emotional issues in the midst of someone else's does not help anyone.
So I think I am not looking for the right words, or phrases, or answers or actions. I am looking for the strength within myself to not feel guilty and insecure and inadequate because of what's going on around me. I am looking for the strength to be at peace with my surroundings, and to be the best friend I can be for those in my life. I am looking for the actions and time to be the best partner I can be for David as he transitions into moving. I am looking within to be able to keep a calm and steady demeanor and to be happy and guilt free.
It's difficult for me.