Friday, February 15, 2008

Have I Talked about This Before?

Sometimes have a very set in stone makes me sad.
I think that when we are so convinced that we know The Way it can be a rather overwhelming feeling because we feel like we have to get everyone to agree with The Way or we are sad for them.

I spent hours and hours crying and praying for my mom when I was a younger Christian because I wanted her to have Jesus in her life. Now she does, and I am very happy that she has such a positive force in her life, but I cannot help thinking about the oppressive nature of feeling like you have to convert people or mourn for their salvation.

I love people. I am compassionate, caring, and invested. I want my relationships with people to be based on who they are and what we share commonly and how we can learn from each other differences. I don't want to be sad for people because I feel that they are not living their life in the right manner.

When that is all that I could see I feel like my life was so darker and less rich, because I wasn't able to see the layers in people and the multi-faceted-ness of others. I can honestly say for a long time I saw their soul and the after life and that was all, and I am glad I don't see that anymore. I don't have any concrete answers and the after life for myself, and sure don't want to have any for other people.

I am striving for a life of hope, kindness, responsibility, compassion and freedom. I don’t but a very specific label on it anymore. I am opening my mind and my heart, and I like the way it feels. I just wish it was comfortable for everyone around me.

1 comment:

Bananamom:) said...

Were the hours and hours crying and praying for nothing? If someone is sad because someone else says they they no longer believe in God because a man-made false religion hurt them to the core and caused them to give up on God is that a bad thing and oppressive? I rarely and even less than that make any statements or comments or feelings about what other people believe. I don't know what the all-loving and omniscient, merciful and just God has in store for all peoples of the world. If I can't cling to what I believe in and what I believe God wants for all people and am viewed as being oppressive because of thinking that and believing that from the heart then I believe that is also sad.