Sometimes have a very set in stone makes me sad.
I think that when we are so convinced that we know The Way it can be a rather overwhelming feeling because we feel like we have to get everyone to agree with The Way or we are sad for them.
I spent hours and hours crying and praying for my mom when I was a younger Christian because I wanted her to have Jesus in her life. Now she does, and I am very happy that she has such a positive force in her life, but I cannot help thinking about the oppressive nature of feeling like you have to convert people or mourn for their salvation.
I love people. I am compassionate, caring, and invested. I want my relationships with people to be based on who they are and what we share commonly and how we can learn from each other differences. I don't want to be sad for people because I feel that they are not living their life in the right manner.
When that is all that I could see I feel like my life was so darker and less rich, because I wasn't able to see the layers in people and the multi-faceted-ness of others. I can honestly say for a long time I saw their soul and the after life and that was all, and I am glad I don't see that anymore. I don't have any concrete answers and the after life for myself, and sure don't want to have any for other people.
I am striving for a life of hope, kindness, responsibility, compassion and freedom. I don’t but a very specific label on it anymore. I am opening my mind and my heart, and I like the way it feels. I just wish it was comfortable for everyone around me.