Thursday, May 15, 2008

Struggling with Peace

Sometimes I think I am the kind of person who does feel at rest when things in life are peaceful. I know that sounds really weird, but I have a hard time with quiet times in life when things seem to be going well, so much that I guess I focus on silly things to be annoyed or stressed out about, even when they are not really worth it.

Recently I have focused a lot on my best friends wedding, just because working out the details have seemed stressful.

I also kind of picked a fight with David the other night and told him that I annoyed him all the time and asked him he was bored with me, etc.

And although I have to say that probably the second example was more hormonal than anything else, I feel really silly for the things that I have decided to stress out about. Because in some cases stress is a choice, and for me lately it has been a choice. Another thing that I tend to do is to stress over other peoples stuff and life situations if I don't have anything in my life to worry about.

The silly think is that my rational mind completely know that it needs to stop this choice to be stressed, but it's a habit I tend to slip into a lot.

It's funny because in college I was always preoccupied with assignments, but I never felt stressed in the same way that I feel stressed about other stuff in life. I felt like the projects I needed to complete were focused and could be accomplished and therefore they didn't take over my life. I think it's funny that I let stupid shit have to much time on the agenda of my mind.

So I am changing everything from this moment forward. Except, not really, because if it was that easy I would snap my hands at all the things I realize about and they'd be gone.

But choosing less stress is certainly something to strive for, and being content with how great my life is right now is something I definitely need to focus on quite a bit.

I am really happy, and I don't always let myself think on that enough.

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