One upon a time...

I went to Bulgaria, but I had to write a thesis and go to class, and maintain a romantic relationship and friendships--- so I didn't have a ton of time to write about my adventures. Barely even time to show you pictures- It was a wonderful O'Neill Christmas in a far away land, and while we struggled to get there, we did get there eventually, and seeing my Hermanita made it worth all the strife of getting there.

It Makes Me Smile

These days I am taking less time to smile, and more time to 'manage' time and stress. I don't think my management of either or the two has been so great as of late, but what can I say?

This is essentially my last heavy quarter of coursework, and I am struggling through it. I think that the workload combined with the fact that I am having to coordinate with so many actual live people this quarter- and am really struggling with it- has made things so difficult. I really want to be an effective writer, researcher, etc. and do good work for the people I am working with, and yet it still seems really difficult to coordinate things sometimes, and I am so limited in my time, that it makes everything seem so much heavier.

One way I am trying to manage stress is to think about the fact that in less than two months I will be visiting my sister in Bulgaria. And all of this will be over. In the mean time, I look at pictures like this, and they make me happy. They make me wish that my job was to organize pumpkin carvings too, but at the same time, I know Anna's role there is a lot harder than that.

Anyway, here are some lovely fall pictures from Bulgaria- they will be getting an American taste of Halloween this year, with the candy corn and rite aid decorations that I sent them all the way from California. I wish I fit into a priority mail flat rate package sometimes. =)





These days, I

Not much for the Blogging Lately...

School concluded about a month ago, and I think maybe I have gotten so facebook dependent so much that I feel like I keep up with people by tweeting rather than blogging, but I do like this forum as well. As many of you know I am headed off to Spain in about one week. I will be studying there for a month, and then I will be traveling with my mother in Ireland and Scottland for about two weeks. I am very excited and I plan on updating often with lots of pictures to show when I am on the trip.

My sister has been deported for her Peace Corp service for a month and a half now, crazy right? You can check out all of her latest happenings here http://bulgarianna.blogspot.com/. I had thought that I was going to be able to see her when I was in Europe this summer, but it doesn't look like it is going to happen as of now. She is going to be living in a rather remote village that will not be easily accessible via weekend tripping. It's sad, because I miss her, but I feel like I get to talk to her enough to keep in touch and to know what's going on. She seems to be doing really really well for herself, and I am so proud of her.

One of my best friends is getting married this weekend, on the 4th of July. A few people have commented that this is really weird, but I think it's amazing that I get to go to an awesome party thrown by someone else for this holiday. It will be wonderful and I am sure there will be amazing pictures.

I got a new tattoo. It's a Japanese crane- taken from the album The Crane Wife by the Decemberists. It's not complete yet, but when it is the bird will be standing in water and the water will say " Here All The Bombs, They Fade Away". People have asked me why this is so significant, and I guess the best way that I can explain it is that I love the Decemberists and there music makes me feel extremely connected to my sister, because she told me about them, we have listened to them together, and enjoyed a few of their concerts together and it has been magical. Also, this is my third tattoo, and it is a bird like the rest. The bird references have to do with my mother, because she is a birder through and through, so it all links back to her-- like most things in my life.

I don't have a ton more to say. I have really just been relaxing and getting ready for my trip and I am excited about it- even though I will miss D I think it is going to be good to get away and to experience the world a bit more...

Expect to hear from me more when I am In Europe. Have a wonderful summer everyone.

My sister left, I cried.

I didn't cry for that long though or have a major breakdown, and I am rather proud of myself because of this. Also, whenever I get sad about her leaving I am just going to look at the professioal photo that I took of her and my cat. Because it's Hilarious!

Three hot mamas...

Well, actually only one of them is a mama and we hope to keep it that way for at least a few more years.

We all matched on XMAS this year, which I think was sort of planned/unplanned- I don't know, but it made for a fun photo shoot.

I thought that these pictures would be especially appropriate to compare to the first picture on my Birthday post. We are three strong women . I love my family dynamics and growing up in a house with so much estrogen was so empowering. And sometimes a little emotional.

This rest of this fun photo shoot (with the goofier pictures) are here.

by catbonny

Eastern Europe better be ready...

Because my hermanita is going to Bulgaria in May.

How exciting is that? Maybe that means that my May 2010 graduation gift to myself will be a nice little trip to this post- Soviet country. (Is that correct history?)

Anyway, I am thankful that prior to her two year departure for the Peace Corp she will be coming here in March (and I will try to make her stay as long as possible, and not let Jare steal he away from too long while at her Mexican orphanage)

My momma sent me a picture of my sitting in the hospital bed with her and my newly born little sister. I cannot believe that she will be 22 in month, or that I will be 25 in less than two days.

I guess we are grown-ups. Whatever that means. = )

Big Sister

Besides being a HIGHly emotional person in the first place, I always have trouble when I leave or my family members leave me to go back on a plane somewhere far away. I kind of have this policy now that family members do not get walked into the airport. They have to be dropped off at the curb because this ensures a swift departure and no crying at the airport security checkpoint line. It's hard to drive anywhere after or get on a plane when you are crying, so I try to avoid this now- even though it's difficult.

I have to say that one of the most alone times was when I watched my mom get on the shuttle and go home from Chile and knew my sister was in Brazil, and I was in this huge city all by myself. It wasn't the city itself that made me feel alone- it's just the act of putting someone on a plane and knowing how far anyone with your bloodlines is from you.

The last time my little sister left California she got home really late the night before she was leaving. I think I left to work and she took a super shuttle home, and when I got home there was a note on my bed that still floats around my room and makes me cry every now and then.

That night in bed with David I asked him to hold me as I cried- explaining that I just missed my sister. I felt desperate and sad not knowing when I would see her next (although I knew it would be in Chile)...

It's hard to describe my relationship with my sister- although I sometimes feel like she is kind of the same person as me, and yet so different. I think we would agree that as we have both grown up we have grown apart in terms of our interests and maybe not our personalities so much as the things we do for fun. I am not sure how to explain it other than to say that we are growing into our own persons as we grow up, but we still have this really amazing strong bond. We still look and talk like sisters. We still have all the same memories from when we were little. We are still us, just bigger/older versions, with much stronger opinions.

I like the person my sister has become. She is strong, smart, independent, funny, and well aware of the world around here (and that which is not so close.) I am proud of her. I love and hold her so close my heart.

I think maybe it's harder for me to think about my sister as a peer rather than a younger sibling I need to be an example for or more than that- I think I have always wanted to impress her and to have her think I was really cool. I wanted her to want to be like me for a long time. I don't think it was as much being self-centered as just knowing that I was an important example for her, and that meant a lot.

This weekend I keep reminding her that she is my 'my little babers' and then I tell her that I remember when she had just eaten lunch and I decided to dance with her and shake her up, which caused her to barf on me. We were just sitting on the floor, but I definitely screamed and let go of her. She was old enough to sit up and crawl so she recovered much faster than myself, myself who was upset about the throw up on my pretty clothes.

We are adults now, but she'll always be my baby sister, and those are two things that I struggle to reconcile, although I am getting the hang of it more and more.

Happy Birthday to my beloved Sis!

Today my little sister turns 21 and can officially drink. I remember that when we took our trip to Europe when she graduated high school and I graduated college that we were excited that we could go out and party together, but in London drinking was to expensive because of the pound to dollar exchange and and in Spain our hotel was in to shady of an area to walk back to while intoxicated. This picture was taken at a Pizza place where we each had a glass of wine. I believe that the most intoxicated we were on the trip was when we went to a theater where dinner was served before the show and we had a bottle of wine that we shared. I am and hopefully always will be a lightweight, and Anna was only 18 so we were both feeling pretty buzzed (and me admittedly sleepy) by the time the production of Tick Tick Boom starring Doogie Howser started. It makes me laugh to think back on it. We had such a wonderful trip together and hopefully there will be many more trips in our future as sisters.

On a more emotional note it feels weird to have your little sister be an adult too. I don't know why, but she was always my younger peer and I have a hard time thinking of her in the adult world, and I am sure that has something to do with the fact that I have struggled with adulthood so much myself. I am pretty sure that no matter where life takes us we will have this bond that is like best friendship x a million and I am so thankful for that. I love her so dearly, and I am sure that she understands and accepts me like no one else really could.

Happy birthday Hermanita. I hope to see you very soon and share more good times with you.