If my job was to lay on the beach all day...

Then I would probably look this content. More pictures of cuteness here.
Have you ever been to this spot in La Jolla? Why did is take me 6 years of living here to find this gem?

Weekend Fun

This is the first time I had been to La Jolla to see the seals. I haven't uploaded all the pictures yet, but there are some adorable ones. I honestly kind of think they look cuter in the pictures than in real life, but I mean I think I look way cuter in real life than in pictures, so it just goes to show it's all interpretation. ;)

I posted pics of my adventure with my mom in Julian. There are some funny ones in the kitchen and cutes ones of mama at the animal park feeding the Lorakeets.
by catbonny

My Mom and I

Highlights of the weekend included:

• Eating a posh breakfast in Ocean Beach.
• Seeing the dozens of harbor seals at La Jolla. ( I have amazing photos and good video)
• Watching 7 baby lion cabs tumble around at the Wild Animal Park.
• Making about 60 or so pieces of Naan on the huge industrial griddle at Camp Stevens and 'taste testing' it while hot of the grill.
• Making home made cheese. (Lots of it)
• Doing some birdwatching with my mom/chasing a wild turkey.
• Going to a too pricey place for dinner,having my mom pretend she was going to the restroom, and running out the hotel door after her laughing because it was above our price range.
• Laughing with mom.

We had a wonderful time. I am so blessed to have such an amazing mother who shines so much love into my life. I couldn't me more thankful for the weekend, especially because I know she had a blast.

Worry much?

So on Saturday night David and I get into bed around midnight after a day full of adventure, which is pretty close to our normal Saturdays, except that we usually don't stay up this late.
So we are laying in bed, and I start wondering if I shut his cat in his room when we were at his house earlier, and she is an old cat so I am just thinking of how not good it could have been to shut her in there, and I get worried, but there is nothing we can really do at this point.

So the evening proceeds and we are kissing and 'getting in the mood' and I say 'Babe, did you put the feta cheese in the fridge?' I don't remember if he rolled his eyes, but he should have. He says yes he did, but could I please stop worrying about things. He tells me it is really breaking the mood. I tell him I am not good at the mood, and he says he knows.

I really do worry about everything. Here's a short list. I worry about whether or not my cooking is acceptable to the people I serve it to. I worry about money a lot. I worry about my friends and if I have offended in anyway. I worry about what people think of me- socially and morally. I worry about planning things out perfectly. I worry about timing and being late or pressed for time. I worry about David all the time- when he is quiet I think something might be wrong, something he is not telling me, or that I might not be loving enough or responsive enough or kind enough. I am going to stop, because I could go on and on.

So yesterday in the Quaker meeting I thought a lot about worrying and tried to reconcile some of the things I worry about all the time, and tried to gain some peace of mind and resolve about the things I worry about. I thought about how my mom has reminded me in life over and over again that usually the details work themselves out and how generally speaking that is true. I thought about how worrying is kind of a control issue, and by letting go maybe I feel like I am losing control, and maybe that's why I struggle with it. I thought about the fact that worrying could waste so much time and be detrimental to my relationships. I thought about how in America this is a hard time financially and things seems rather uncertain for many people, and how I needed to also let of financial worries, because they don't make me any better in the end, and they cause me to focus on very trivial things that are not worth focusing on.

I tried to focus on my breathe, and I tried to breathe out all my stress and worries, and to accept that things are not in my control and things will work out how they will, and my feeling scared or anxious about it won't really help me change the outcome. I thought about having a relationship that was less weighted by insecurities on my side, and how that would allow me to love and to be loved by David even better, and how it would make things much richer.

So, I think having peace and giving up fear an anxiety is something I need to spend a lot more time meditating on, but I think this was a good start. Realizing the benefits of feeling less controlled by anxiety are at least a beginning. I'll have to see where this journey leads.

I've been kind of s stress ball this week, but

Last night I had the wonderful pleasure of seeing Ira Glass at the This American Life screening that happened in movie theaters across the nation.

And before the show I was telling John and Amy about these underwear, which I apparently saw but didn't read about when I saw them the first time. It's actually a funny story. I actually thought that maybe they sold them at Urban Outfitters or something like that. If so, I certainly would have considered buying a pair.

P.S. Have I ever told you how into customized underwear I am? Ask David about his last Valentine's Day Gift. ;)

Impatience/Beach Patience/Hot

I have been crabby this weekend. About once a month I get super irritable.
One of by biggest character flaws is that I completely lack patience.
And I think that my heightened irritability plus the intense heat has just made me an ultra-pitch.

I also haven't gotten used to the beach traffic on the way to my house on the peninsula yet, so as I sat in traffic twice today I honked, screamed, and cursed as I was sweating in the car and wanting to get home and stay there.

I have lived near the beach my whole life, and beach traffic has always been a major factor in life. When I was growing up I could look at through the woods in back of my house and see the traffic was backed up for three miles and was pretty much stopped on the two bridges that led to the two main ways to get to the beach town. I always went the back way to get to work, but sometimes that was not even good.

Anyway, this was not the ideal weekend to get my traffic zen on, but hopefully I will get used to it and started being more patient within a few days.

At least David is very supportive and patient and soothing and really amazing and I am thankful to have a partner who accepts me having a few off days on a pretty regular basis.

I don't know how ethical this is, but I kind of want one.

There is an article in the OC Register about this cat known as an Ashera, which is a blend of domestic cat, leopard, and serval. Apparently some people in San Juan Capistrano have one, and many animal rights people are up in arms about it. It seems to me that anything that any cat with leopard blood (even though it looks to cuddly) might have some very aggressive instinctual qualities. On the other hand, I think I might be all about having a 30 lb cat.

The truth is that I could never (nor would I want to) afford a $22,000 (at the cheapest) cat. If I got a kitty it would definitely be a rescued one.