First Impulsive Buy With Student Loan Money

That's right. It's a little baby computer, and I don't feel too bad because is was $310 with shipping and some people have phones that cost more than that. So I justify it by saying it will be good for school, it will let me loan David my big laptop because his wireless sucks, and I haven't had a new cell phone in three years.

I don't know if it's really impulse, now I just have to remember student loans have to satisfy all normal bill payments until part time work is acquired. Fun stuff.

How I started my morning

Would you like some whipped cream on your home-brewed coffee?
Yes, please.

Three good things...

So I have been having a hard time adjusting and have been struggling with major anxiety/emotional distress lately. In an attempt to put a positive spin on today I told him that tomorrow (which is today) we should both tell each other three positive things so that we have some assurance that we are doing well.

His three things.

1. He got a new phone plan and he can talk to me whenever he wants to for free.
2. He has been getting more writing done since he has been in San Diego.
3. He had a bad dream about something in Orange County last night, but woke up and realized that he was 100 miles away from Orange County and didn't have to deal with it. (I am being vague about this specifically, but it's actually a very positive thing.)

My three things.

1- False thing- I bought him a cat to bring to his new place to keep him company, and I brought said cat to work with me today to spend the day with me, but soon it would move in with him. He pointed out that this was not a positive thing for him, and I said yes I know, but for me it would be very positive.

1. (Real) I was looking at my google calendar and realizing I only have three weeks at my job after this week. WooHoo!!
2. I have a 4 day weekend coming up and will hopefully get to spend most of that time with D.
3. (Half true, and more for for a joke.) I didn't smoke pot at the Radiohead concert last night. Mind you I have not smoked pot for a good three or more years and have never really gotten high, but last night there was a lot of pot being passed around and I was really tempted because it seemed to fit the mood, but I stuck with tobacco sticks instead because you wants to puff on a joint with a strangers mouth on in. That sounds yucky. So yeah, that was more of a joke one to comment on all the pot last night then to say that it was really a positive thing that I didn't smoke pot.
4. (Back to the real) I have a really great boyfriend who loves me a lot. (David reminded me of this, which was nice of him.)

I feel really good today, which is awesome. I liked starting the day like this.

If you were watching the security video...

If you happen to be watching the security video from the Kinko's located at UCI from about 11:00 am this morning, you would see two adults come in with three bags brimming full of Farmer's Market produce.

You'd see the female walk over to the copy center and head right for the free scotch tape. She would have been tearing off long pieces and sticking them to the palms and fingers of her hand and then ripping them off one at a time. The male you'd see walking over to get some not free packing tape with he offers to the female, but she declines. Then she take some more tape and wraps it around 4 of her fingers, two on each hand. She wonders of she should leave them there because they make her prickly fingers feel better, but decides not to and asks her partner in crime to remove the tape from her four fingers. She then wipes here hands and few times, and gathers her bags, removing the greens from the top of her bunch of beets and puts them in trash receptacle. She has been laughing for the entire duration of this time in Kinkos.

And you'd probably laugh too if you saw the tape of David and I in Kinkos this morning as I tried to remove the teeny tiny hair like spines that had gotten into my hands from the cactus fruit I bought this morning.

I am not sure after all that that I will be able to eat the fruit without first having rubber gloves to handle them.

Lots of laughs and a little bit of ouch.

Her look definitely says...

We went to a wedding this weekend and we have photos.

I cannot wait to see Bri's photo's from the event. She is such a wonderful photographer and always has so many shots I would never even think of.

Good times, people getting married, cheers.

Without you...

Who would I be?

Struggling.

So as much as your psyche up yourself for big changes, and as much as you tell yourself that the big changes are not big- you never know until it really happens.

In other words D has kind of officially moved, and I have been kind of emotionally bonkers for a few days, and I don't like it at all.

I want to be strong and cool and collected as to make it much easier for him to transition and start his much dreamed of MFA.

Please send light and prayers that my school gets here soon so I can shift my focus away from both hating my job and missing my boyfriend, to pursuing something I really care about.